Walkoff Walk

Not so fast Mr. Iracane. TIm Lincecum is a creampuff. There ya go.

Also, I'll be on your internet radio tonight joining my friends Matt Sussman and Tuffy on the BC Sports Treehouse Fort. Those two gentlemen are both as ambitious and stupid as me. See, they also liveblogged the entire All-Star game. Suss had the reins at Deadspin while Tuffy was working at SbB. We'll be putting a wrap on the festivities, talking about the visions we saw after typing for five straight hours and various other baseball stuff. So join us at 8:00 EST (that's 5:00 PM for us West Coasters) and listen to my dumb voice make dumb jokes.

See you then.

I'm headed to D.C. for the weekend and CTC is out in LA so this may be the last you are hearing from us until Monday morning. If so, here's a question to ponder: which team will we no longer be considering for the playoffs after this weekend: Yankees, A's, Braves, Marlins, Rangers, or the Brewers?

No, we're not at the halfway point of the season right now, despite all these weaksauce newspaper columnists assigning 'midseason grades' to teams and players. Heck, the Red Sox have played 97 games already and that's nearly 60% of the 162 games proscribed to them by Herr Selig.

So as we approach the three-fifths mark of the season, we also approach the July 31st non-waiver trade deadline. Let's take a look at which teams might be a little confused about whether they are buyers or sellers.

• Atlanta Braves (45-50, 6.5 GB): The Braves have been one of the unluckiest teams in the first three-fifths, losing a ton of one-run affairs and even more road games while amassing enough injured players to fill a MASH unit. Still, they have such a good young rotation to replace the Mike Hamptons and John Smoltzes; they just need their offense to maintain or improve their 4.5 runs per game average. If they choose to sell, expect Mark Teixeira to pack his handbags and his gladrags. If they opt to buy, they'll need a good hitting outfielder like the Royals' David DeJesus.
  
  
• Florida Marlins (50-45, 1.5 GB): They're not even supposed to be here! Yeah, nobody thought the young Marlins would get their shit in gear for the 2008 season but yet they sit atop the NL with 135 homers. The pitching and defense have been shaky at best and, with too many games left against the Mets and Phillies, I see them being sellers. Reliever Kevin Gregg would earn a nice ransom from bullpen-starved teams like the Tigers.
  
  
• Texas Rangers (50-46, 7.5 GB): General manager Jon Daniels denies the reports that he and team president Nolan Ryan are a-fightin' and a-feudin' about whether to buy or sell. Still, with a league-high 5.10 ERA and a whopping 968 hits allowed in just 96 games, this team has no chance to contend in 2008. If those reports are true, Daniels should step up and ship out Milton Bradley, despite the fact that he's leading the league in on-base percentage AND slugging percentage. You could get a boatload of pitching prospects for the fella, but perhaps Nolan Ryan knows the old saw: there is no such thing as a pitching prospect. Either that or Ryan is just waiting to put Daniels in a headlock and pummel him senseless.
  
  
• Oakland Athletics (51-44, 6 GB): Just when you think they're out, they pull you back in. No, I don't get what's going on and I don't know if they're going to catch the Angels and no I don't know if they're even trying.

I don't think we're any closer to determining what strategies these teams will adopt prior to July 31st, but we know one thing: the market is bullish on tall dudes.

Francisco Liriano is doing quite well down at Triple-A Rochester, winning his last seven decisions and sporting a tidy 2.73 ERA and 9.6 strikeouts per inning over his last nine starts. Heck, he even had a 26 2/3 inning scoreless streak that ended last night. The former phenom seems ready to be called up, eh? Not so fast, say the Twins:

"The Twins, winners of 21 of their past 28 games, say they currently do not have room for Liriano in their starting rotation, which consists of right-handers Scott Baker, Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn and Livan Hernandez along with lefty Glen Perkins."

Wait...what? Livan Hernandez is suddenly a better option than Francisco Liriano? The same Livan Hernandez who is 3-4 with a 7.28 ERA since mid-May? The same Livan Hernandez who gives out hits like they're candy (93 hits in his last 55 innings) and tater tots like they're...well...tater tots? Can I write an entire paragraph with only questions?

Liriano's agent, Greg Genske, asked the player's union to file a grievance on behalf of the pitcher. Genske claims the Twins are merely trying to avoid giving Liriano major league service time which would prevent him from qualifying for salary arbitration after this season and delay his free agency.

Twins general manager Bill Smith, however, thinks the team is doing just peachy and promises they'll bring him up sometime before the season ends. Heck, the Twins are just 1.5 games behind the White Sox and their offense is actually above average in the American League for the first time in a while. Still, you have to know that Liriano's 97 MPH fastball and wicked slider are better than Livan's 67 MPH fastball and wicked...uh...durability.

Here's what happened in baseball as we were a walking disaster:

Mets 10, Reds 8: How does a baseball game feature two blown saves and yet neither of them belonged to Billy Wagner? In fact, Mr. W pitched a 1-2-3 ninth for the save after the Mets tagged Reds closer Francisco Cordero for four runs in the top half of the inning. David Wright's two-run tater tot was the big blow; he had 4 RBI while Carlos Delgado and Fernando Tatis added 3 each. The Mets blew three leads for starter Johan Santana and yet sit in first place now after the big win.

Cardinals 4, Padres 3: Four solo ding-dongs propelled the Cards to a big win over starter Jake Peavy (who allowed all four tots and most certainly will not be winning the Cy Young this year). The Cardinals had exactly zero runners in scoring position all night but Troy Glaus, Rick Ankiel, and Joe Mather drove themselves in pretty well. Heck, St. Louis had more solos in this game than a typical Rush concert.

Tigers 6, Orioles 5: So Detroit is starting off on the right foot, what with permanent malcontent Gary Sheffield hitting a ding-dong and teammates Marcus Thames and Brandon Inge adding dongs of their own. Garrett Olson took the loss while Kenny Rogers picked up his seventh win on the year, despite allowing 11 of the Orioles' 14 hits. Hey, they can't all be gems. Okay, so none of them really are gems.

As per the 700 Level, the Philadelphia Phillies have reached an agreement to acquire RHP Joe Blanton from the Oakland A's in exchange for three minor leaguers. Despite his 14-10 record last year with a decent 3.95 ERA, he's regressed to a 4.96 ERA in 2008 and doesn't fit in with the Oakland plan, I suppose.

He's allowed 12 tater tots in 127 innings this season so there's hope that Citizens Bank Park won't eat him alive, despite its much smaller footprint than McAfee Coliseum. The Phillies defense is not on par with the Athletics so I can't see him improving significantly without pushing his strikeout levels up and his walk levels down.

Most importantly, what the heck does this mean about the A's plans for 2008? Are they selling to win now or selling to win later? Damn you to hell, Billy Beane!

Hey kids, I'm fixing a hole where the burglars get in.

• WILL the Mets' hot streak translate into the second half? They've got the right guy on the mound to start things off against the Reds.



• ARE the Tigers going to score 551 runs in the second half of the season to get to a thousand and not make my preseason predictions look dumbtarded? They get Mags back and kick off side 2 of the 2008 mixtape against the Orioles.



• CAN Jake Peavy join the illustrious ranks of guys who won the Cy Young without making the All Star game? I have no idea who is actually in those ranks but I wouldn't put anything past that dude. He and the Padres take on Kyle Lohse and the Cardinals.



• WERE you deprived of baseball enough last night to watch Bucs/Rox?.

Then stop by tomorrow for all the answers. Same WoW time, same WoW channel.

Holy crap, as if the Richie Sexson deal wasn't enough to get you excited today, then get ready for Tony Clark's homecoming trade that sends him back to Phoenix.

    Under his contract with the Padres, Clark would have received $500,000 from the Padres if traded, but he waived that clause in order to complete the trade.

Now that's desperation to get out of San Diego! "Hey, current team that is under-performing. I'll give you $500,000 to trade me to a team that is also under-performing, but less so." (note: those are not Tony Clark's actual words)

This sets up Arizona with the 36-year-old, six-foot-seven first baseman with one tater tot in 88 at-bats on the season. PERFECT! Oh hey wait, I remember that one tater tot.

Get ready to boogie down in the Bronx on Saturday, folks...Richie Sexson is coming to town!

   The Yankees will only have to pay Sexson the prorated minimum of $390,000 from his $14 million salary with the Mariners. Seattle is eating the remainder of the nearly $6 million Sexson is owed for the season.

Oh yes, Seattle...eat it up. Nom nom nom how good does that $6 million chunk of change taste? Do you need some crushed red pepper on that to spice it up a bit? Perhaps some fine Washington Pinot Noir to wash it down?

Why does this work? Imagine every team has a big jigsaw puzzle and each team needs a certain number of pieces to finish their puzzle. Richie Sexson's piece was oddly shaped and didnt fit anywhere in the Seatle puzzle, mostly because they needed SO many pieces. Now imagine the Yankees could get that piece for REALLY cheap because it's so odd. And look! It fits nicely in their puzzle.

And yes, my prognostications came true. Stick it, MLB Trade Rumors dot com!

My buddy Jesse Spector at Touching Base has a regular interview feature called Nine Innnings. This morning I read what is easily his oddest one yet. He interviewed WoW curiosity and All-Star Brian Wilson and well... there's some weird stuff there. It doesn't start off particularly well.

Touching Base: If you could trade places with anyone in baseball for one day, who would it be?

Brian Wilson: No one.

TB: Not at all?

BW: No. I wouldn't trade places with anyone, ever, in the world.

Hmm. Ok. Understandable answer but not really conducive to futher conversation. There are various other indignities like Wilson saying he doesn't watch sports but he likes the English soccer player "Michael Rooney." Alrighty then. Just when you think both you and Spector have wasted your time, well then. It happens. Wilson finally cracks.

Ordinarily, this would be the end of things, but Wilson told me that he'd think about the usual final question and to come ask him again another time. Since it was Tuesday when I did this interview, I came back before the Giants-Mets game on Thursday afternoon at Shea. When he saw me, he immediately said, "I've got something for ya!" I'm not sure I would believe what I heard if I didn't have it on tape.

BW: (I am the only player in MLB) to levitate.

TB: To levitate. How so?

BW: I can lift myself off the ground.

TB: Can you just do it?

BW: Yeah.

TB: Can I see you do it, or is it something you can only do by yourself?

BW: Yeah, it's not something I wanna do in the locker room.

TB: How do you do it?

BW: By using my brain powers.

TB: How far? How far off the ground do you get?

BW: About a foot and a half?

TB: Wow. Just magic?

BW: And I could be the only person in baseball with an IQ of over 150. We'll see, though. We could take an aptitude test or something.

TB: OK. There's some pretty smart guys in baseball.

BW: I'm sure there are. Can they do the USA (Today) crossword in less than a minute? I don't think so.

Well there you have it. Brian Wilson is like David Blaine but with less facial hair, more Christ lovin', and the same amount of self confidence in carrying himself like a creepy weirdo.